I have to be honest. I've been a total Grinch/Scrooge/bum about Christmas this year. I didn't listen to much Christmas music, which is odd for me. I was in choir in school, so around September I usually get the urge to break out the Manheim Steamroller :). But not this year. I just really wasn't into it. The second year without my daughter, the first year without my husband.. the only thing I had left is E, and I didn't get the child support I was supposed to so I couldn't even buy him anything.
Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. The grandparents (my side, obviously) came through and each got a present for E (a crib mobile from my mom, and that floor gym I wanted from my dad), and my step sister who I haven't talked to in a couple years even got him a little outfit. My dad dressed up as Santa, so I got the Santa picture with E that I wanted! I had to put up with the whore sister (the one that M cheated on me with while we were engaged) but she didn't try to corner me or really even talk to me at all, so that wasn't as bad as I thought.
Instead of feeling 'let down' like I have after so many Christmases, I felt a little lighter. I was expecting to be miserable, but I was okay. Christmas was okay. E and I, we're okay.