Thursday, December 31, 2009

2010 and Beyond!

Looking over that last post, I'm realizing how much of my life has just happened to me. If I had stuck to my guns and achieved the goals I set for myself, I would not be a single mom with no education right now. No way, no how. So my overall goal in the next decade is to stick to my guns. Don't let people sway me from what I want. Especially, especially, ESPECIALLY men. They were honestly and truly the root of all my problems in the last decade. Lol! It's really true.

I do have some more specific goals I want to achieve though.

In 2010, I want to:

-Like everyone else, lose weight. I've lost 28.5 lbs since leaving M in October, making 46.5 lbs lost from my peak pregnancy weight with E. Sheesh! All I did was gain, gain, gain while I was with M, and now that I'm rid of him it's coming off easily. Not without effort, but I'm not exactly working my butt off either. I still have quite a way to go before I'm at a weight I'm comfortable at, and even MORE to go before I'm at my ideal weight - the weight I was at when I was dancing en pointe. Previously, I thought that I would never get back to my ballet dancing weight since I've had two babies and three pregnancies, but you know what? I think I can! Or pretty darn close. So I'm going to run with this momentum, and do it in 2010. I think I'll post tickers in the sidebar here for keeping track :).

-Get good grades. I'm going back to college next semester (if my financial aid comes through in time!) and I really need to get my GPA up. I did craptastically in school when I was with M - he actually blamed his cheating on me while we were engaged on me spending too much time studying. *eye roll.* Normally I'm kind of an over achiever in school, and I'd like to return to that.

-Enjoy E. It's going to be so hard leaving him to go to class, and giving up time with him to study. I'm only going to school part time, but still. I want to treasure the time I do have with him and not lament that I can't be a stay at home mom with him as planned. I'm working to make my life and his life better, and I refuse to feel guilty for that. I'm doing the best that I can with the situation that I have. (Convincing myself much? lol.)

-Get Divorced and Enjoy Being Single. The divorce will be filed and final in 2010. I've decided not to date until the time comes when it is final, for my own personal reasons. After that, I want to date, but take it slowly. I don't want to jump into another relationship too quickly. I want to enjoy being myself for awhile, enjoy being an "I" and not a "we."

In 2010-2019, I want to:

-Graduate. I haven't talked about it on here yet, but I'm starting prereqs for nursing school (hence all the nursing blogs that I follow). It's not something that I EVER saw myself doing until now. (I was an econ/poli sci major previously.) Somehow though, between my two NICU experiences and my high risk pregnancy, I almost feel like it was what I was meant to do. The reason I had to go through all this crap. Because if I hadn't, it would never have interested me like it does now. Anyway, I hope to get into the program after prereqs and get an ADN, and then work while getting a BSN. And this is planning really far ahead.. but I think after that I'd like to go forward and get an MSN to be a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner. I realize all this might change when I actually get into nursing school, but I always like to have a plan, even if the plan changes along the way.

-Move Out of my Mom's House - That sort of needs no explanation. I'm happy to be living here while going to school and setting myself up for success financially, but I don't want to be here forever.

-Take Care of Me - I completely allowed myself to get lost in my marriage and in my devotion to M and our relationship. Simply put, I stopped being me. The real me wouldn't have allowed myself to gain the weight that I did, or get the grades in school that I did. This decade, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to let myself get lost in the shuffle of single mommyhood, dating, school.. anything. Because if I don't take care of me, no one else will.


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