Thursday, March 17, 2011

Refocus

Lately I've been thinking about this blog. Why I post on it. Why I don't as much as I "should." I thought about why I started blogging.

I started blogging because I couldn't find any blogs written by people like me. When M told me that he didn't want to be married to me anymore, my life stopped making sense. Never in a million years had I pictured myself as a single mother. I was scared.to.death. I searched the Internet for blogs about single mothers. Mothers whose husbands had left them when their babies were as little as mine. Women who were blatantly rejected by someone who, a few days before, swore up and down that they were completely happy in the relationship.

I didn't find any.

I found some very inspiring single mom blogs. Moms of multiple children, moms who had gotten divorced after many years of marriage, moms who were successfully coparenting with their exes. But none with a story quite like mine.

I was desperate to know how I would do it. It seemed so impossible. So nightmarish. I needed to see that others had been through what I had and had lived to tell the tale. I had found solace in the blogs of stronger women before - when I miscarried and when I lost B - and so often I wished that I'd had the strength to blog while I was going through those experiences.

So I decided to blog this one. The journey of my single motherhood. My road to self reliance and self acceptance. Lately, though, I've found myself uninspired. I come to this blog when I need help - to ask questions or to blog about my problems, and that's not what I intended this blog to be. It's been difficult to blog about the divorce process while it's been going on, and it's difficult to be open about the experiences while leaving out key personal details.

So I want to refocus. This blog is about what I do right, and about the lessons I learn from the mistakes I do make. If I can reach out and help one woman going through similar changes in her life, I'll have reached my goal.

Why did you start blogging? Does your blog still reflect what you meant it to be?

4 comments:

  1. Great post! And when did you get that new header?! I like it!!

    When my blog started turning into something it wasn't meant to be (reviews and giveaways), I created a separate blog... so I could get MY blog back. My personal blog, which started about my pregnancy and is now about so much more (Ryan, family, parenting, birth), but still about me. It's nice to have a reminder of why we all started and what we're here for & trying to accomplish. You're a rockstar, mama! I know you've inspired me with all that you do!

    Emily @ Baby Dickey

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  2. I started blogging about my pregnancy and like Emily now it's so much more than that. It's about me, Mason and whatever I feel like writing. I never really had a plan of what it was suppose to be. Also like Emily I got into reviews and giveaways and created a second blog to get all that away from the personal stuff!

    One day I hope to be a little more open about what's really going on in my life. We'll see.

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  3. I love this. Personally I find your journey fascinating and inspiring. Just keep being honest. Keep being you. I started blogging eight months ago and i started because people on Twitter told me to. Seriously thats why. I still havent quite figured out where I am going with it but love the friends I have made :O)

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  4. You are such an inspiration to all Moms! My blog has also evolved from what I started writing it for, I think the evolution is what makes blogging so interesting. Keep up the great work, Mama!

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