I'm afraid to stop pumping. Really, literally afraid. I can't imagine a world in which I don't need to pump at least twice a day. I can't imagine a world in which I don't have breast milk to give to my baby.
The thing is, my baby? Will be turning two in only five months. Two. That's pretty old. (Yes, I have now been exclusively pumping for 19 months. Yes, I am insane.)
He mainly takes a bottle of breast milk at nap time and at bedtime. He's down to about 20 oz a day. The last week or so he's become obsessed with "wa-wa" (water) in his sippy cup or a regular cup (which I try to avoid since he spills it all over himself). He
insists on will take sips of cow's milk out of a cup if I'm drinking it, but I haven't tried putting it in his sippy or a bottle yet. I have a feeling he'd be fine with it in a bottle.. but that seems so weird.
I'm almost out of domperidone (which, in case you're unfamiliar, is the medication recommended to me by my OB to take to maintain milk supply while exclusively pumping). Do I buy more? Or do I stop taking it, and let my supply taper off and start mixing with cow's milk? I can't decide. I just can't decide.
On the one hand, I'll be really glad not to have to worry about it. The day I don't have to wash bottles and pump parts?! Well, it will just be one thing I can scratch off my to-do list... for good. Yay.
On the other... I like pumping. I like the assurance of knowing that E is getting good nutrition even though he still has some trouble eating solid food. I like that breast milk is free (well, sort of... I buy the domperidone). And that it's always available.
Any advice?! Is my reluctance to quit a sign that it's not time yet, or is it just the inability to accept that my teeny tiny preemie is now a toddler and doesn't really need me like that anymore?? Maybe some of both.