Looking at this past year... it's easy for me to feel discouraged. I'm in exactly the same position I was in last year. I'm living as if I'm single but my divorce is still not even close to being final. I'm still living with my parents. My financial situation is, if anything, worse than it was last year due to the student loans I've had to take out. I lost weight last year, but gained a lot of it back.
On the bright side, I did get 3 semesters of school finished in 2010, with pretty dang decent grades to boot. I'm set to apply for the nursing program this semester (for the class beginning fall 2011 and graduating December 2012) and I think I'll have a fairly strong application. I hope. I still need to take the entrance exam and write the essay. I'm studying for the exam over the break, and I'm not really too worried about the essay.
E has grown A LOT over the past year, and that's just amazing. I pumped breast milk for him every day in 2010, and that's pretty amazing too in my humble opinion. He walks now, and says "dog," "mama," "uh-oh," "banana," and "cheese." He signs "milk," "all done," "more" (well, sometimes when he feels like it), and "water." He takes his own dirty diapers to the garbage can which is super cute since he's all excited about it. It has been so wonderful to watch him grow from a little bitty preemie into this precious little toddler. Love, love, love.
In 2011... I really need to get this weight off. It's making me unhappy, and I have enough to be unhappy about without that too. I am taking a fitness course in school, so that will be at least 3 hours a week of exercise that I have no excuse to miss since E will be at the babysitter's. I hope to add yoga back into my life on top of that, but since that will be at home I'm sure it will be hit and miss. The yoga is mainly for stress management (hopefully more yoga = less Xanax!) but it obviously has physical benefits as well. My eating strategy will be simple - eat breakfast every day so I don't get starving while I'm out, and don't buy junk food. Just don't keep it around. That last part will be a bit challenging living at home, but I'm going to do it anyway.
In 2011... I want my divorce to be final. I'm so done with it all, so done with M and his constant pathological lying. I want him out of my life, even through our attorneys. I'm tired. I'm finished. So please pray for me that my divorce will be final this year ;). If I am sitting at home again next New Year's Eve because I didn't even have the option to go on a date because I'm still married, I might just drop dead. Figuratively, of course.
In 2011... I want to be a bit more organized so I can spend more quality time with E, rather than multitasking time. I want to blog a little more and surf the internet mindlessly a little less. I want to continue to do well academically. I want to be a little cleaner. That includes showering more (have you ever tried showering with a toddler screaming at you? If so, you'll understand that sometimes? It's easier to not even bother) and cleaning up daily instead of waiting until things get so messy it starts to annoy me. I had some really good cleaning habits established in 2009 and I'd like to go back to that. I want to be a bit more positive and not always dwell on the fact that I have to do everything. That's just how it is, and I need to stop shirking and just buck up and accept that fact. If I wait around for help, I'll be waiting forever. There is no help. It's all me. Somehow, some way, that will be okay.
xoxo. I'm so grateful for the blogging/Twitter community. It's such an outlet for me, and I appreciate every single one of you. Happy New Year! I wish you all a happy, productive, and prosperous 2011!!