Sunday, October 17, 2010

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

This day is so very near and dear to my heart. Through losing my two precious angels, I've come to know a community of the strongest women out there. Those who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death have known true heartbreak, yet they shine so brightly as examples of love, hope, and generosity. 

On October 15th, I remembered my babies by first heading out to B's grave. I hadn't been for too long, and I wanted to decorate for Halloween. E and I swung by the dollar store to get supplies, and then went to see his sissy! 

I lit my candles a little early, but quickly had to blow them out because E was all about getting over to them! Whoops! Didn't think that through...

I love this picture. So sweet. 

E was an awesome helper. He especially loved throwing the flowers around. The ones that fell off? Courtesy 
of E, lol! 

I think it turned out pretty cute! You can't tell from the picture, but the garland on the shepherd's hook is very sparkly in the sunlight. It's black with little orange pumpkins!

We also took a little bit of time to visit the other babies that rest near B. I picked out her burial plot specifically because it was by other babies, so I always like to say hello when I go and think about them and their mommies.

B usually gets all the attention on my blog, because I have a tangible memorial of her (plus I got to hold her in my arms, and it's just different), but later that night I took some time to remember my other precious angel. It was my first pregnancy, and I was so excited and nervous. It took me a good week after I got my positive pregnancy test to get used to the idea that I was having a baby, and I only got to keep her one week after that before I miscarried at 6 weeks. The thing I remember most about that pregnancy was right off the bat I was so tired. I literally would sleep all day, wake up for 4 or 5 hours, and go back to bed. It was so weird. Anyway, I just knew she was a girl (and I was right with my subsequent two pregnancies, so I have no reason to think I was wrong!). I wanted to name her Aimi (I was taking Japanese classes at the time, and when written in kanji, it's written with the symbol for "love" and "beauty" - 愛美

I lit my candles again at 7:00 for the Wave of Light. One for B, one for Mia. 

I love and miss you, my angels. I can't wait to hold you again.


  1. I'm so glad that you're back home where you can be near B and be able to visit her. I can't believe how big E is! He was so little when I saw him last.